L.O.L. fucking peasant, did you just express a right wing political view? Well, I, a clinical psychologist at Stanford University, who graduated from Harvard, have news for you. You are what me and my fellow Chad intellectuals would call an “incel”, which is short hand for involuntarily celibate. What does that mean? Well, it would be hard for someone like you, who gets so little pussy, to understand, but it goes like this.

Normal people, the kind of people that bullied you in school, like me, have sex with many women, but those women only have sex with us, and nobody else at the same time. For me, however, this is the case to an infinitely greater magnitude. I have sex with hundreds of women every day. This is, of course, a difficult task, but I have specialised features which allow me to perform it, such as a foreskin made out of carbon fibre, balls reinforced with steel and a set of gills, with which I can breath through the sheer volume of clunge I am constantly immersed in.

You, however, internet stranger, are nothing. You have sex with nobody, and live forever in jealousy of people like me, which is the cause of your political views. The idea that your disagreement with me might be spawned of anything other than sheer jealousy and sadness at having been rejected by hundreds of women in high school is simply unfathomable.