As you may know, I am fictive otherkin but these days I am transotherkin because I am transitioning into a cat. I feel this has always been who I am, and my fictive otherkin identity was a bit forced.

I’m learning how to eat cat food (which to be honest doesn’t taste good at all) and I’m spending more time with cats. I’ve noticed a lot of attraction towards cats in general, but specifically female or trans cats (I know a male cat without a penis, it was emergency surgery but he is basically a trans male cat). I have found myself becoming VERY sexually attracted to my neighbor’s cat Ruffle because I can tell she is a lesbian. I caught he licking another cat’s vagina last week and I’m not going to lie, I watched for a really long time.

I know my attraction will never be consensual which is one reason I will never put it in action. I don’t even know how I would have sex with a cat, and this is even causing me to question my demisexuality which is VERY fucking triggering. But I’m not going to hide from who I am, I find cats attractive. Period.

I also feel that Ruffle is an otherkin in the sense that she identifies as a human; her spirit is very human, and sometimes when looking at her I feel like I AM THE CAT and she’s the person. So maybe sexual relations are possible down the road but for now it will have to be non-physical. She is actually older than me in cat years, so it’s not an issue of statutory rape but it is still rape is she can’t explicitly consent. Sigh.

Anyway, just wanted to get this off my chest. It’s been a really conflicting week for me.