I haven’t talked about this super openly but I’m kind of struggling with it right now, as I’ve struggled with the fact that I’m almost 30 and childless. Last month I was pregnant and I miscarried. While I’m aware now isn’t the most ideal time or situation to put a child into the mix, it does hurt. It hurts that I get to see everyone else be pregnant, and start families, and I just kind of don’t know when or if that will happen for me. I miscarried ten years ago as well. I love nothing more than children and little things and I can’t wait to be a mom. I’m happy to know I can get pregnant but I’m really struggling with the reality of can my body maintain a pregnancy. I miscarried and had to go back to work the next day, welcome my family to visit the next week, and just carry on like nothing ever happened to me. No healing,no mourning, no stopping. I’m tired of never being able to stop moving. I’m tired of letting pain be “just another thing”. I am at the point where my physical well being is all bad and one reason I wear makeup is to cover up the more visible signs of my host of endocrine disorders and I just feel like I’m fake when I see girls with their natural faces and they look bright and beautiful. My mental health is slowly following. I really, genuinely, hate it here and am tired.