I’m sitting here contemplating existential collapse. While my vocation affords financial comfort, the value is meaningless, giving way to an unfulfilled life. I dream of passing the hours in a much more comfortable environment. That is until a young dude with a gat yells, “light dude, right there,” and suddenly I’m being smoked by 19 people in a case of mistaken identity. It’s okay fellas. You relieved me of a meaningless existence predicated upon false social values. I no longer have to drink the corporate Koop-Aid, and sift through pictures of intangible truth. I have my meaning, and it is detached from reality.