I have to write this quickly, as my time is quite limited right now. Years ago was my first sighting of Obama drinking my milk. I yelled at him to stop, yet he just kept drinking and stared me in the eye. It was very traumatizing, but that night I couldn’t sleep. I could hear him gulping and drinking all my milk. After he finished all 12 gallons of my milk, he stomped up the stairs looking for more. He tore open my closet in search of the liquid he kept craving. After a while, he realized had no more, so threw himself through my front door in a rage. My neighbor called the cops, but by then Obama was long gone. I had to make up a story about a violent raccon stealing my oranges because I could see Obama lurking in the bushes, chugging down a waterbottle (full of milk I’m sure). I was convinced it was a dream because before I had just eaten some soap that went bad. But I remembered Obama saying before he left, “This isn’t a dream, I’ll be back.” I decided to move away to Texas, where I thought Obama wouldn’t dare to set foot in. I drove into my new town, MilkTown, TX, and it was a ghost town. No one was around, and a small tumbleweed blew across the deserted street. I soon realized what had hapened. Obama had gotten here before me, and had depleted the towns milk supply. Without milk, the people could not get their daily dose of calcium. I reversed my car, but i forgot that my car only ran on milk, and I was all out. I had to go on foot. I then moved to Hawaii, because I thought he couldn’t travel across water. What a fool I was. Hawaii was his motherland, and his powers would be even stronger there. He destroyed 4 out of the 12 islands in search of milk, as coconut milk couldn’t satisfy him. As far as I know, the F.B.I. and C.I.A. brainwashed everyone into thinking that there had always only been 8 islands, but I know the truth. I can’t reveal my locations as of now, and I’m typing this as a warning to anyone with milk in their households. Obama will find you.