Landover Baptist Pastor Deacon Fred was hospitalized last Sunday after suffering a mild heart attack while preaching about Disney’s latest leftist propaganda film, Toy Story 4. “Brothers and Sisters in Christ!” Pastor screamed from the pulpit. “There’s a lewd little demon in this movie named after Satan’s favorite utensil! GOES BY THE NAME OF FORKY! This perverted imp has a tattoo on his foot!” Pastor exclaimed. “Well, we all know from Leviticus that God forbids tattoos! But what drives me into a demon stomping frenzy is that IT’S A RAINBOW TATTOO!”

“The blood vessels on Pastor’s bald head had swollen up to the point of bursting,” recalls parishioner Mrs. Lydia Gladstone. “The last thing he screamed before passing out, covered in a pool of his own sweat was, ‘IT’S THE SAME RAINBOW THE HOMOSEXUALS STOLE FROM SWEET NOAH!’”

Earlier this year, the Board of Deacons provided Landover’s Department of Creation Science with a $2.5 M. grant from the National Republican Federation to conduct extensive research into the liberal, left wing origin of Toy Story 4. After interviewing a Christian cartoonist who provided Creation Scientists with a bootleg copy of the movie after being fired from Disney for refusing to share his office with a homosexual, Pastor was made aware of their findings.

“I want to assure churchgoers we’re not glossing over the obvious sexual content on the surface of Toy Story 4,” said Dr. Johnathan Edwards. He was referring to several scenes where the main character, Woody and Satan’s favorite utensil, Forky, watch CNN all day share effeminate hugs, sexually suggestive sniffing and pecking one another on the cheek. “As a True Christian, watching Woody and Forky hug each other immediately made me wonder what both characters would look like unclothed, engaged in lewd sexual activity,” Edwards said. “This sort of amoral garbage has become so commonplace in Disney cartoons, it doesn’t take a Creation Scientist to see it. You just have to remember to pray after watching it because overexposure to this sort of filth could turn you queer pretty darn quick.”

What bothered Christian experts more than anything else after researching Toy Story 4 however, was the carefully crafted character, “Forky.” Quite obviously named after the Devil’s favorite utensil, but not so obvious to the untrained Christian and Biblically illiterate unsaved person is the fact that Forky was purposely designed by Disney with the ultimate goal of desensitizing children into believing everything God Almighty considers offensive to be completely normal.



“Forky is the incarnate manifestation of everything that God despises,” explained Pastor Deacon Fred from his hospital bed. “The hell-bound liberals that created this abomination will stop at nothing until our innocent children are indoctrinated by the whispering lisps of this deceitful little demon.” Pastor was shown the Toy Story 4 Forky info-graphic created by the Landover Baptist Department of Creation Science and ordered it to be placed on the church web site. In addition, he ordered the info-graphic be distributed immediately to Baptist church leaders across the country and to have one sent to President Trump’s personal email address with a follow-up phone call in hopes he would highlight it on his Twitter feed.

“Whether Forky represents a retarded child, a sodomite, a cripple or crookbackt, broken boned, or even a lily white child with the lips of a coal colored black boy, one thing is clear: He was forged in the flames of hell, deceitfully crafted by leftists with the ultimate goal of persuading True Christian American children that it is “A-OK” to look or act like someone God despises and risk spending eternity in Hell, forever separated from our loving Lord,” concluded Pastor.

If you are a piece of unsaved human trash or simply a Presbyterian who is not familiar with the Holy Bible, each verse referencing Forky’s specific anti-Christian traits from the infographic above are detailed below.