The best meal of the day just has to be brunch. Honestly though, brunch is pretty fucking amazing.

I mean it’s not quite breakfast but it’s not quite lunch but you get a slice of fucking delicious cantaloupe or some shit like that at the end.

And say if you’re asking your crush out for a date. Do you ask her out for breakfast? No. do ask her out for lunch? No. But do you ask her out for ***brunch?*** Abso-fuckin-lutely! Why? Because not only does it make you sound like Sir One-Sophisticated-Motherfucker, but you’re treating her for TWO, that’s right, not one, but fucking TWO meals, for the price of just ONE!

And the benefits of the motherfucking Brunch-Brigade doesn’t stop there, No Sir! For example, say if you overslept on a weekend and you need some breakfast before you go out. Someone knocks on your door and you’re eating a leftover microwave lasagna from the night before. So then when they ask what it is you’re doing, instead of going “I overslept so now I’m eating a late breakfast” and sound like an unorganised jackass, you then turn around and hit them with the

“oh hi I was just having brunch”

**Boom! Take that bitch!** You probably thought about silently judging me for the next few minutes about the fact that I was eating breakfast at 11 am. But no! Y’know why? Because I’m having motherfucking brunch, which is perfectly socially acceptable, motherfucker!

Honestly though, whoever invented brunch is an absolute legend! Whoever made brunch needs to be given a Harvard scholarship this very instant. If anyone knows the guy who invented such an impeccable meal of the day, then treat him whole-heartedly, with some motherfucking brunch!