*Shits aggressively* You look rather… Hmm… How should I put this *A small Turdlett rolls out from my pant leg*… ‘Gaping’… Today. *sniffs turdlett’s stench* *licks lips* Ahh…….. Pubescent. Just like me. No matter, I have more important things to discuss at hand. *I wipe the sweat off my masculine-yet-tender brow* The thing is, you see, it is this, and it is more than you can imagine; I lust you. Here’s the thing- You see, the thing is, is that of this effect, that is this; These wounds, they will not heal. And you are the only- *the Turdlett starts to rot and spoil, a combustion of intangible flavors; young and old, handsome and beautiful. A sweet-and-sour secretion akin to spoilt milk, so foul, enters my olfactory; I gasp sharply* Lordy! Back to what I was saying. You are the only thing in my life that can soothe these wounds. Ah- *at this point, a succulent stench releases from your bowels; the ever so pleasing aroma of old eggs and nacho cheese* Uh oh, is it what I think it is? *a corpulent morsel releases from your anus; my tongue wets and my mouth waters* Looks like someone did an oopsie, *i smile*. Do you know what that makes the change in the time? Feeding time. *I pull down your pantaloons, and my effervescent devour begins* ughhhumghghmmmughmmm… Ripe. *I lick your stinky, pungent, savory-sweet h’orderve. A sticky- yet chalky substance, that tastes akin to burnt cheese* Oh my, what a flavor; and a flavor it is, a flavor of lust and joy. *i pick my brown-coated teeth, and smile* Mmm mmm mmm, I’ll call this- what should I call it? Ah yes, Turdlette Connoisseur’s Delight *i smile* *you smile, deeply impressed at my ingenuity in coming up with names* *I ejaculate* I have ejaculated. *at this amazing, lustful, orgasmic moment, I hear a buzzing* Wait, wait wait, NO! NO NO NO NO NO! NO! *i shit myself in anger; the most horrid stench one could dream of leaves my bowels* NOOOOOOOOOOOooooo! *I wake up, realizing it was but a dream; a wondrous dream; a wonderland. But then, I hear something awful; the worst thing you can hear* Honey, Get up or you’ll be late for school! *At this moment, I let out a strained cry,* What a world, what a world!